Bubble World

Coming in July 2013 from Henry Holt

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Are you going to be a witch for Halloween? Or a pirate? Or a vampire? That’s wonderful! Have a super time! Now go away. This post isn’t for you.

But if you want something so original that no one ever thought of it before — well, except for my friends whose pictures I’ll post on the Internet without permission — here are some categories to get you thinking.

MYTHOLOGY

One year in college I was Medusa, complete with green face, toga, and rubber snakes in my hair. I felt way superior to all those coeds who dressed as kitty cats and French maids (for chrissake) until I started hitting the parties and discovered that boys prefer leotards to originality. So now I know. Of course, Greek and Roman mythology is filled with attractive characters (if you care about that kind of thing). Zeus has thick white locks and a thunderbolt. Athena has a little white dress and an arrow. They all wear super-cute shoes. How’s this for a couple’s costume: King Neptune and the Ocean.

CRIMINALS

No, you should not dress as Casey Anthony for Halloween! That’s just sick and wrong and . . . sick. And wrong. So stop googling “Casey Anthony Halloween costumes,” people! (Yes, I have Google Analytics. Yes, it tells me these things. I also know your name, your social security number, what you called your first pet and what you like on your pizza.)

If taste is a factor, you’re better off going retro criminal: Bonnie and Clyde, Whitey Bulger, D.B. Cooper. and Jesse James (no, not Sandra’s ex — though he wouldn’t be bad, either — and you can pick up some realistic looking tattoo “sleeves” at any Halloween store).

HISTORICAL FIGURES

What? You never studied the importance of the twirler in American History? Yeah, okay — my husband and I couldn’t come up with a couples costume that year, so “tall hats” was our unifying theme. Aside from Abraham Lincoln, other costume-worthy presidents include George Washington, Teddy Roosevelt, and Richard Nixon.

Don’t limit your ideas to American figures. Che Guevara and Fidel Castro, anyone? The costumes are warm — and you get to smoke cigars, if you like that sort of thing. If you prefer singing to smoking, you can always go the Eva Peron route. And it’ll be really funny ten years from now when your friends are still talking about that time you got really drunk and sang “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina.” Especially if you’ve got kids around to hear about it.

If you run through democracies and revolutionaries and dictators and still can’t come up with something, you can always go royal. Louis the XIV (you can wear platform shoes). Marie Antoinette (don’t forget to bring cake). And those English monarchs are always up for a good time. Party on, Queen Elizabeth I! And speaking of hats, Queen Elizabeth II is ripe with possibilities.

 

ARTISTS

Andy Warhol! How clever is that? (Che Guevara got a rockin’ makeover.) You could do all kinds of things with Vincent VanGogh: blue smock; missing ear, palette. And don’t forget the literary luminaries: Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Dorothy Parker, Virginia Woolf, Charles Dickens . . . William Shakespeare!

Wow. Once upon a time, writers led such exciting lives. But now we get to blog, so . . . yay for progress.

More Costume Ideas:

Halloween Costumes: Rockers and Pop Stars

Halloween Costumes: Television Shows

Halloween Costumes: Movies

Halloween Costumes: In the News

Lame Costume Ideas for the Truly Desperate